She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
