Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
