The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
