My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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