You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
