Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
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