Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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