I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize
