well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I am midnight drunk by noon
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
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