i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize