That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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