The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
He passed out mid-signature
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
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