I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Do you have feelings for this penis?
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
