i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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