it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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