champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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