btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
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I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
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I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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