escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
