Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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