i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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