I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Randomize
