well you can't waste a boner
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
