Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Randomize
