My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
