i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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