Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
