I'm going to rape someone's good day.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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