right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
