return my video game
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Randomize
