Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
is it fun? or sober?
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