Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
wow bdsm is so cute
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
