I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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