I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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