Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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