i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
