he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
My vagina is officially offended.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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