I hate all girls vehemently.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
