Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Can I color on your dick again?
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
