quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
