I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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