When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
