Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
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