i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
