real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
