k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
