Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
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