just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
