sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
