wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Randomize