I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Couch. On fire.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
