I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
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