yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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