He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
the night ended with taco bell and tears
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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